Maybe I was born an old soul. Sensitive to energy, introverted. Feeling and seeing things others can’t or won’t’.

Growing up in an alcoholic family that always seemed to be in some sort of chaos, especially around money and struggle and truth… I learned early on how to keep my wits about me to try to stay safe.

It was a big deal senior year when I tried out for the theater production “Our Town” and was cast as one of the townspeople. Moving to a Florida my sophomore year it was hard fitting in, high school was not fun.

Naples back then was a very small town and clearly divided into the “haves and have nots”.

If you lived in this subdivision you had money.

If you lived on this side of the road you didn’t have money.

After losing their money in the stock market my parents decided to start over in the land of the Sun and oranges, to seek their fortunes in Florida. That didn’t happen, they arrived broke and stayed broke; one step ahead of the bill collectors.

My younger sisters easily made the transition, no problem.  Mom didn’t understand “Why can’t you be like your sisters and make friends? You’re not trying.”  My soul loss was huge! I felt ripped from the community of friends and family I loved only to land in a sea of nobodies and somebodies; struggling to find my way.

It came with a mighty dose of feeling not good enough that showed up the first day of school. Standing at the bus stop I freaked out… the next day I couldn’t leave the house because the anxiety set in again; this went on and on until Mom gave me one of her nerve pills. Panic attacks and IBS that stayed with me until I went off to college and only returned when I went home to visit.

Girls in Naples High were lifelong friends- together since grade school, they had their cliques. So trying out for the high school theater production was a BIG move for me. My fear of being seen was side swiped by a greater urge of wanting to feel part of the community.

With excitement I went to the thrift stores searching for my costume; finally finding the perfect outfit.  A navy blue belted sheath dress along with an old fashion hat to match, one with a net that drops down over the brim…very retro. I liked the feel of the fabric, the way I looked. At home I tried it on.

Wanting Mom’s approval I walked out of my bedroom asking “what do you think?”

“It makes you look frumpy.”

Her words.

A slap.

I don’t fit.  You’ll never fit.

I don’t know how to play. No one wants to play with you.

You’re frumpy.

Old before your time.

First born girl, supposed to be her perfect child, so she could be the perfect mother. Raped at three she chose to bury our secret and then spend the rest of our lives making each other wrong. A battle of wills laid a groundwork of self-doubt so I wouldn’t tell the truth.

I cared for these secrets until my own dear daughter was born. How could I hand this critical inner mother over to her when all she gave me was pure joy,  light and innocence…I made a vow to do whatever it takes to heal.

And so I did.

This morning, sitting in the chair, waiting for my hair stylist I looked in the mirror and deep into my eyes. First I saw all the flaws, my small eyes, brown marks, the waggle in my neck… a voice bubbled up “you’re too old.” WTF!?#

Deep breath.

Then I looked again and a very loving inner voice arrived…

surprised me…tears welled up as I recognized

“I’ve finally caught up with mySelf; the wisdom, the knowing. Waiting all my life to be here NOW.”

Good. Enough.

Rev. Michele Grace Lessirard, an intuitive life coach, helps you break through resistance, stop spinning in doubt so you can come back into balance, make more money and have a greater impact in the community you serve. A certified Money Breakthrough Method® coach, spiritual healer and counselor Michele Grace helps you move your dream from “woo-woo to “who’s who®” in 90 days with heart-centered business building tools.

This month marks the 20th anniversary of her spiritual rebirth- finding truth, speaking truth. So this very Pisces woman is celebrating. Watch your email for some special celebrations.

The post Good. Enough. first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

Gator came to us, his forever home just 2.5 years ago. Gator was a BIG dog. One you couldn’t ignore. When he wanted attention Gator walked up sat down, then barked.* If I ignored the bark (and he wouldn’t stop) Gator climbed up in my lap. Being a work-at-home dog-Mom, we’d start the day in the office with his head resting on the cool marble window sill watching squirrels and rabbits out the window. Both dogs would sleep under my desk. Walk at 2 and then each day at 4 o’clock he let me know it was time to be fed by coming over, first with a nudge of the nose, then the bark, then the climb.

He’d run back into the house galloping with joy. At night he stood with a toy dangling in his mouth …letting us know it was time for bed.

He was a character.

I was his Human.

I don’t have Gator’s back story. Overweight at 117 pounds, gray before his time, given up twice, I sense his journey to us wasn’t so good. His first trip in the car to the groomers my husband came home visibly upset; to Gator car rides meant being sent away- AGAIN. That day when he picked him up and he got to come home, well Gator lit up! One happy dog. Those first couple weeks, afraid of being abandoned again, he stuck to me like glue. First out of need and then out of desire. We bonded. His love for me was BIG. Following me from room to room, he never let me out of his sight. A protector. I was his Human.

My heart just opened for him.

One night in those early days Rich came home from the road; there was a rustle in the dark by the closet. “What the heck?” When I turned on the light, Gator had squeezed his BIG dog body onto Rich’s flattened out suitcase. “Hey look Mom, a bed!”

Who knew!

None of our other dogs ever took to beds! When a week later the plush dog-bed arrived, we put it in the bedroom, Gator walked right into it and lay down as if saying “Finally I’m home!”

The first six months he lost 25 pounds. He played, chased squirrels, and loved riding in the Beetle with the top down. A proud BIG dog.

At the beach last week I kept taking snaps of him with my iPhone; playing in the waves, chasing crabs, lizards on the screens and watching flying pelicans. He loved the beach.

In the car ride home Gator slept on the armrest as our co-pilot for a long six hour drive. Then suddenly without warning, 3 nights later he collapsed on the floor in front of me. It was his time to go. Saying goodbye I thanked him for being with us, for being a good dog, celebrating all the joy he brought to our family. The emergency vet was no option, I didn’t want him to die with strangers.

When I picked up my drum and started the healing he raised his head; he looked up at me one last time as I sang him home. Thirty minutes later he was gone. It’s been a tough and tender week. I feel him. I see him. I want him back. Grief is a journey, and I’ve been riding it.

Having lived the first half of my life not feeling very much, I welcome the tears. Life is so much sweeter now. BIG feelings won’t take me down; riding the wave maybe they are fuel for creating a BIG life.

Thank you for being our BIG Dog Gator. We miss you.

Lessons from Gator’s BIG dog life.

You can be abandoned.

And still find love.

BARK. If you have something to share, stand up. Voice it.

Keep barking.

Be willing to climb for what you want.

Stop worrying about being rejected for those BIG ideas…

Do them anyway.

Find a tribe that isn’t afraid of your BIG-ness.

And if none can be found.

Create your own.

Allow Love in.

BIG thank you to:

Family, friends and clients on Facebook who sent healing and love the last couple of days.

The Golden Retriever Rescue South Florida for choosing us. We celebrate the good work they do in finding forever homes for abandoned goldens. http://www.goldenrescuesouthflorida.com

Dr. Basabe and his staff at Village Pet Clinic: your phone call and heartfelt conversation the morning Gator passed gave me peace of mind and heart. Rich and I are so grateful. http://www.villagepetclinic.com

Forever Family Pet Cremation Services: They came and lovingly picked up Gator within 90 minutes of my call; then returned him in a beautiful urn two days later. Please stop by and “Like” their Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/foreverfamilypc

Catherine Behan has an email program for pet loss that is no cost…Please check it out…..what would we do without our four legged family members?!? http://sdpetpark.com/bereavement_support.php

* Gator was well trained, doing all the commands asked of him. Sit, stays, heel and down. Each dog has their quirky gifts. Barking and climbing was Gator’s.

The post Lessons from a BIG Dog. first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

A powerful presence, Cliff is a tall, strong, kind African American healer I met at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. For a while I did everything in my power to avoid him, which only made the situation worse. He freaked me out and shook me to the core. When he tried to catch up to me on breaks  I’d run away. I was being stalked. Finally realizing the craziness of it all I started pulling on the thread of feelings bubbling up using shamanic healing, journaling and collaging helped me find the why.

Spring of ’68, at that crossroad of change, not girl/not woman I was bullied in school by a tall black teenager held back because of grades. It was the year of busing, of race riots and the assassination of Martin Luther King. Boy-man intimated the teacher by shouting her down when he got an F on a test. Nothing was done. Sitting at his desk when the teacher wasn’t looking he’d turn around with laughing eyes and voice a whisper threatening “You watch out girl, I’m gonna take you out in the woods and mess with you at lunch today”. My life was hell in 6th grade.

Cliff reawakened that bully experience.

Once I understood “the why” I had lunch with Cliff. Our conversation turned to power. Working with African elders (shamans) he saw a dark side of shamanism- control and manipulation.

As a healer, Cliff was scared of his shamanic gifts that were opening up. Sharing his mission and movement I started to cry. He was here to heal the rage in African American boys, the experiences that shaped my bully.

Power was stalking us.

When the stars lined up Cliff’s presence woke me up to a deeper truth. That each experience, even bullying, brings with it a gift and a blessing. Every part of this experience fills me with gratitude. Healing comes in layers. Many times we think we’re done, another layer is revealed when we least expect it. Your invitation is to dive deep.

Like a layer on a pearl, you can’t specifically identify the irritant, the moment of the irritant, but at the end of the day, you know you have a pearl.- Ken Burns

Transform. Shed what no longer works for you. What’s bubbling up? What needs attention?

How is power stalking you? Start pulling the threads and own every aspect of your story. Then your life will shift and you’ll weave magic back into the communities you serve.

NOTE: This post was inspired by an NPR interview on Bullying. While driving in the car my stalkers name came bubbling up this morning, so I decided to do a internet search. He’s in jail, had numerous run-ins with the law. Seeing his picture I felt compassion. No charge to it. It is done.

“Children who are bullied are four times more likely to have an anxiety disorder as a young adult, compared with people who were not bullied. Now, that might not surprise some people, but you’ve found, as you just said, that people who both bullied other kids and were victims fared even worse. They were 14 times more likely to develop panic disorders as adults.” Within a year of the trauma I started developing symptoms of PTSD and panic disorder that was healed through shamanism and the soul retrieval process.

The post The gift of bullying first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

There is anxiety within and about from the unfolding crisis in the Gulf of Mexico. Many are in fight or flight, many feel the energy in their bodies, many are waking up. I am inviting you to throw an image at the feelings!

Join with me in creating SoulCollage® cards that speak to “healing” of the waters, the animals…if you are a seasoned card maker the SoulCollage® card may new or it may already be in your deck.

It may be new cards that touch into the power of the moment as Agents of Calm.

It may be a shadow card.
It may be a Source card.

The post Gulf oil spill- make a soulcollage®, change the world first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

As the New Year dawned I headed back up to my sisters home to spend more time with my mother in South Carolina…

While no time seems enough time with Mom I have to step back into my life. She seems to be going and then rallies. It’s a betwixt and between place for all of us.

I am aware of so much. Of tears at unsuitable moments by things that trigger the loss. Of great inspirations and projects to create and then getting lost doing something else. I try not to beat myself up, to accept where I’m at, to just be in the space and place of it all.

As Mercury went retrograde I created this card “I am the one who trusts.” as my New Year’s SoulCollage®. Loving the ballerina girl she’s feisty and grounded carrying a sword in her belt.

My Saturn in Libra journaling in November revealed a pattern of death/rebirth in the Cardinal signs I did not expect; transformation each time Saturn moved through a Cardinal sign. Who knew… certainly not I.

When my beloved grandmother, the family’s Memory Keeper, died in 1983 my very practical business woman self forged ahead; so busy in my professional life I didn’t allow the grief to touch me. Then seven years later when I stood still the depth and breath of that unresolved grief finally found me, the energy blew the old self away. Born anew.

Shamanic clients are showing up with tales of their own lost magic…journeys of a loved one’s death, the struggle to recover and wanting to, yet lacking the energy to create. My Helping Spirits have shown how one can stay hooked-in when a loved one dies; through the void of pain and sorrow we unconsciously try to send ourselves energetically over with the deceased, yet we end up in limbo. How a death march such as this creates soul loss within the living. I am blessed and inspired by their transformations.

“Without death, there would be no rebirth. Without winter, there would be no spring; without night, no sunrise. In traditional shamanic societies the departed Ones are acknowledged as a part of the community. These are beings who have completed a transformation in status, but they are understood to be present and continue to affect our reality in many ways.” –Shamanic Guide to Death and Dying.

Mama Turtle climbs ashore…

An aha came just after Thanksgiving when big Mama Turtle climbed up out of the cold lake waters and into the clearing on our land by my goddess statue. Seeing the turtle from the porch I walked out to greet her with the intention of just watching.

In my excitement I got too close, she stopped and ran faster than I have ever seen a turtle run back into the water. Then I saw the three holes Mama Turtle made by moving the earth with her feet and tail, digging deep into the earth to lay her eggs. My actions stopped her birthing process. I felt guilty for not being mindful, for not honoring her boundaries and her needs. Mama Turtle taught me a lesson…

Our Mom wants to die…she is in pain, her breathing is labored and she is suffering. On this trip I wanted share that from a shamanic perspective death doesn’t have to be hard.

Then I realized my way is not her way, it would set up too much confusion. To just be. Knowing when to hold on and then let go is her journey- a mirror of how she’s ‘lived her life’. No one can navigate it for her, nor hasten death along. Trust the process, it’s in God’s and the Ancestors hands.

Winter is about the death and rebirth of light. Going to the dark places so the seeds can germinate and bring new memories to life in the Spring.

“Do not let your fire go out, spark-by-irreplaceable-spark, in the hopeless swamps of the appropriate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.” –Ayn Rand

How are you flowing as we enter the year 2010? Revelations during the holidays could be related to the time of the Full Moon in Capricorn last summer (July 5 through August 3)? Even as far back as 1980-1983, the last time Saturn was in Libra.

Saturn is the taskmaster. Pluto demands transformation. Capricorn is the structure. Libra is about balance in relationships. Pluto and Saturn are in a square that started last fall. When two planetary energies square off it brings up challenges saying “no you can’t move forward without stopping here first to let go of what no longer serves you.”

Saturn and Pluto reach this exact square three times. The first occurred on Nov. 16, 2009, the second will occur on Feb. 1, 2010 with Saturn retrograde, and the third on Aug. 21, 2010 with Pluto retrograde. One blogging astrologer* wrote “During these transits we’re challenged to accept and participate in major transformation of all four cornerstones, Libra-Aries and Capricorn-Cancer, but the real potency of this energy is anchored on the Libra and Capricorn angles of that cross.”

Pluto rules death and transformation. What we resist, persists…and so Pluto drags us to hell and back. Pluto’s rendering energy forces us to LET GO of  people, places and things that no longer feed our Spirit. When Pluto is on you the security blanket of the past is useless; he forces us to trust the process. Transform, transition. Saturn rules Capricorn. Saturn sits in the 1st chakra of the body, tribal conditioning related to fear. Living small in a big world.

Who said New Years and Vision Boards go together?

Mercury retrograded on December 26th at 22° Capricorn. While Mercury goes direct this week it doesn’t come out of it’s shadow until February 4th.  We started 2010 off with a do-over energy, so don’t be beating yourself up. Get the visioning done, cut and paste…move what you can and then expect it to be seeded/birthed in the spring.

Mars the planetary archetype of right action and leadership is now retrograding in the sign Leo. Plan now for action later. Pioneers may be paddling in circles for a while, but it’ll release soon. The bottom line?

Are you grounded? Do you trust the process? These are all 1st chakra/Saturn/Earth issues. Saturn in Libra is all about creating a new balance.

Head/Heart/Feet. Right thinking[head and throat] leads to right feeling [heart and soul] that leads you to take right action [feet firmly planted and grounded].

With a thinking heart and feeling mind, let me be open to the here and
the beyond, a sacred witness for Mom. Let each of her children, be the Keeper of Memories holding this space in celebration…to
feel the spaciousness of life and death; and still be grounded.

May you be at peace at this new moon.

In my own Saturn in Libra journaling process I’ve uncovered feelings, patterns and choices that impacted my life personally and professionally that I was not aware of until I started writing and collaging the energy. My clients are also experiencing alchemical breakthroughs using the Saturn in Libra journal.

I created the Saturn in Libra journal so you could navigate the waters of Pluto in Capricorn and Saturn in Libra with Authority. It’s such an important time on the planet to create and step into your True Self. What did you come to share and teach? What is in your way?

*About the quote sorry I didn’t write down the link, if you recognize your words, please let me know and I’ll update the post.

The post New Moon in Capricorn-coming out from under first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

I am the One who moves
through Resistance
jumps through life’s transitions
even though others
may look on with their
judgments and doubts.

I am the One who trusts
the Presence will show me
the path that lands me on solid ground.

With open arms I find
change is good.

Midway through this Mercury retrograde I decide to unpack and file some boxes unopened since the move…and rediscovered my writings for the last 10 years…seeing the start and stop, bits and pieces of what I want to share and teach left me feeling like I failed.

“The child forms certain wrong conclusions about life, which sink into the unconscious, then mold the life into the adult.”  -The Undefended Self: Living the Pathwork

It didn’t matter that I finished my degree, was homemaker, wife and mother, healer; sent dear daughter off to college, staged, sold the house, moved and wrote some 255 blog posts. With tunnel vision nothing mattered- Virgo can get obsessive and Pisces just wants to stay in the dream.

Homemaker versus career woman were at each others throats- "stay home" "no go out in the world, do more", welcome to my Saturn/Uranus opposition- sitting exactly on my Pisces Sun. With Mercury retrograde it's been a ripe opportunity to start dissecting the thinking and reshaping the clay.

Each month there is a new and full moon. The opportunity at the new moon?  You are called to bring up the childhood ‘wrong conclusions’ and re-mold your self. By the Full Moon the Sun and Moon stand in opposition, it’s there you have the aha's and energy to change the form.

Oppositions offer up a challenge and a release of tension. Saturn who rules responsibility and structure is in Virgo holding a tug of war with Uranus in Pisces the awakener. Uranus wakes you up to the potential, the future you with spiritual purpose and muscle [Pisces].

In book The WAR of ART by Steven Pressfield “Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”

Resistance has been keeping me company and I don’t like it one bit. Yes finding the writings and the abandonment left me feeling hopeless. That dissolved into anger and frustration. That dissolved to grief then moved into acceptance. The energies feel multi-layered and words can’t seem to fit it all. The good news is there’s movement. When I got home from reiki circle last night I found Donna Cunningham's blog post in my mail:

Happening every 45 years or so, the Saturn/Uranus opposition marks a time when we feel we can’t live any longer under certain conditions, limitations, systems, relationships, belief systems, jobs, careers, etc, and a part of us comes tearing out. We seek change, reform, relief and the new instead of plowing on with things that are not working.-Lynda Hill

It’s been all that and more. Saturn in Virgo stands in opposition my Pisces Sun in the 4th house giving me some powerful God-force energy to ‘master fear and conquer resistance'.

Knowledge of who you are emerges the way a Polaroid develops: it takes time to see the image clearly and know what you are working with. Every single one of us at birth is given an emotional acre all our own. You get one, your awful Uncle Phil gets one, I get one, Tricia Nixon gets one, everyone gets one.

And as long as you don’t hurt anyone, you really get to do with your acre as you please. You can plant fruit trees or flowers or alphabetized rows of vegetables, or nothing at all. If you want your acre to look like a giant garage sale or an auto-wrecking yard, that’s what you get to do with it. There’s a fence around your acre, though with a gate, and if people keep coming into your land and sliming it or trying to get you to do what they think is right, you get to ask them to leave. And they have to go because this is your acre. – writer Anne Lamont in her book Bird by Bird.

Dear New Moon Dancers be kind and supportive to the Pisces/Virgo people in your life…we are all being plowed big time. In July I go to make a vision board and nothing happens. Asked myself why? One word pops up Commit.

Commitment brings up fear I’ll be locked into something I can’t change. The quest is safety, don’t move. This resistance isn’t an adult talking and I've been here before…

The AMC television show Mad Men returns, bringing me grist for the mill for my career woman/Virgo and homemaker/Pisces dialog.

Betty and Sally’s mother daughter dance is so rich and deep for me. Mom’s drinking and smoking trying to cope, oh last week she added another baby to the mix. Sally’s body type is similar to mine at the same age- another piece of the betwixt and between.

Forty-five years ago? Puberty came early as I moved from girl to adolescent a bit too early for Mom. Big and gawky compared to my skinny-minny sister, my wrong conclusion shouts ‘fat and ugly’- so much shame for becoming “to fat for little girl clothes”. Mom didn’t love me, sisters and father teased me- let’s say we were not kind to each other. Into the clay went unacceptable. Into the clay went fear of change. All I can say to the Universe…damn this yet again?

In astrology the fourth house represents home, mother, roots- theme is safe and nurturing. The task is to get rooted/grounded in who you are so you can move into the 5th house of creativity, go out into the world, and share your gifts (10th house).

While the childhood needs were met because of the trauma I didn’t feel safe or nurtured; at eight I turned to food, became the ‘little mother’ for control, for comfort, to mask anxiety, to make me feel safe. Can you relate?

It’s been 45 years of starts and stops. I am more turtle than rabbit. Part of me knows to just go with the flow; another just wants this @#$@ Saturn/Uranus opposition to move off and away…out of my 4th house of home/family/roots and 10th house of career/public persona. My emotional acre is being plowed big time…

Tending once again to the eight year old I see a deeper understanding of my journey, my mother and her mother's story; how the trail connects back to my college graduate self (read the Virgo in Saturn ’78-80).

"I am the One who threw us into personal and professional tasks that seemed too much to handle. We learned at a young age to act as if everything was okay when it isn’t. I am the One who is your twenty-something career woman. While I can form a clear vision and set a strong intention; we got lost in the process after things manifested too quickly. That was then and this is now… today we don't need to use food/busyness/spending to dampen the anxiety, you developed better skills to cope. Today we have courage tied to spirit."

Silently in the background of my life these two Neters dance in the shadows giving me tools to go out into the world again. I feel grateful for the new awareness. It’s an opportunity…

"Worthiness, in very simple terms, means, I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you.

You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy.You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing.

There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting."-Expressed by Abraham-Hicks

At this New Moon in Virgo you’ll find me tending my worthiness acre as Saturn/Uranus opposition calls me out of a deep slumber, jumping through transitions and landing safely on solid ground.

What about you at this New Moon in Virgo how’s your emotional acre?

Shadow Dancing: Listen for the inner
voices-your mind chatter. Look for black and white thinking then seek
to balance the negative self talk and doubt. Look for your issues with
FEAR- fear of success, fear of failure are two biggies that dance with
me. If you don’t know where to begin Carolyn Myss works with these four
archetypes: the Child, Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur.

Anne Marie Bennett has put together some great resources on her website here: Taming the Inner Critic.

What was life like for you, what happened 45 years ago, to you or maybe your parents? Anything related to today's resistance?

What’s happened over the last 6-9 months?

If you have a copy of your chart, find the Virgo/Pisces signs..there are 12 houses…read the description of the house here: New Moon Zodiac Chart

How is the Saturn/Uranus opposition affecting you today?

24 hours before the new moon set a strong intention, what do you want to create in the Virgo area of your life? What's been up in your face since Mercury went retrograde? What do you need to change? Write or draw your intentions. You’ll quickly see/feel/know your shadow issue, what’s holding you back.

24 hours after the new moon, let it all go. Expect aha’s by the full moon in Aries October 4th. Keep me posted.

Rev. Michele Lessirard, C.Ht. is an artist, inter-faith minister,
shamanic practitioner and teacher. Since 1995 she has preformed
hundreds of Soul Retrievals, teaches through out the United States and
is recognized for her ability to communicate the visible elements with
the invisible- the spiritual aspects that are mirrored through one’s
day-to day relationships with family, home and work.

The post Virgo New Moon-jumping through transitions. first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

What does the Owl dance mean?

How would you work with the Owl's message?

I am teaching a Power Animal TeleClass for my friend Anne Marie Bennett next Sunday, August 16th and I wanted to invite my readers to the session.

There are two main types of helping allies that shamans consult and work with in their journeys: power animals, also known as guardian spirits, and teachers in human form. In this teleclass we'll explore SoulCollage® and the relationship of power animals beyond the body chakras.

In building relationship with our helping allies we come to know our true essence; from this place of power we feel more connected and grounded, better able to move out into the world in service to our family and community. During the teleclass we'll explore Nature, power animals and the SoulCollage® process. Michele will talk about power loss, power animals and the soul retrieval process using your SoulCollage® cards.

Attend this Power Animal tele-class and you have a chance to win a copy of Sandra Ingerman’s book Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner's Guide, from Sounds True. The book includes a drumming CD for shamanic journeying.

This class is for both the curious and seasoned SoulCollagers alike. If you have any animal companion cards in your SoulCollage® Deck, please bring them with you to the call, along with a journal/paper and a pen.

Rev. Michele Lessirard, C.Ht. is a shamanic teacher/practitioner and SoulCollage® Facilitator providing healing, counseling and instruction since 1993.

Sandra Ingerman, author of Soul Retrieval and Medicine for the Earth writes-

"Michele Lessirard is truly a gifted teacher. Her commitment to the work combined with her depth of experience brings great compassion, deep wisdom, clarity, the ability to be innovative, and humor to her workshops. We need teachers who know how to address the needs of the present and the coming times. Michele is one of these brilliant and creative teachers who holds a light to help her students thrive and not just survive."

Power Animal TeleClass
with Michele Lessirard
sponsored by Anne Marie Bennett's KaleidoSoul

Date:  Sunday August 16, 2009

Time: 4:00 pm Eastern, 3:00 pm Central,
2:00 pm Mountain, 1:00 pm Pacific,
11 a.m. Hawaiian, 9 pm in London,
11 pm. in Rome, Monday 6 a.m. in Melbourne Australia
and Monday 8 a.m. in New Zealand

Register by paying with PayPal (see button below). When payment is finished, you will be directed to a page that gives you the phone number and access code to call.

$10.00

SPECIAL NOTE: This tele-class is FREE for KaleidoSoul Kindred Spirit Members! Click to learn how to become a Member now. If
you are already a member of Anne Marie's KaleidoSoul, the phone number
and access code to call will be specified in your member's newsletter,
Soul Treasures.

The post Power Animal TeleClass with Michele Lessirard first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

We have one more New Moon in Virgo September 18th, 2009, next year at this time Saturn leaves and doesn’t return again until 2038.

Connect the dots and embody the Practical Mystic within, especially during the 2009-2010 New/Full Moons in Virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini and Pisces. Take the teachings deeper as Saturn finishes up the journey through Virgo…expect aha’s and shape-shifting.

Where is this Saturn/Uranus opposition occurring in your birth chart today? If you don't know, call or email me and set up a mini-session.

Reflect on your PAST:

Saturn-in-Virgo from Jan 1978- August 1980: For the last two years Saturn's been dancing over the Virgo issues in your life. How old were you then? What happened?

Saturn-in-Sagittarius from Dec 1985 through Feb 1988: In Sagittarius we learned to become willing to take the risk to make the dream happen. Sag ruled by Jupiter, the Teacher.

• What challenges did you meet and greet during these years?
• Looking back with fresh eyes can you see where you got caught up, what you resisted?
• What changes did you make? Didn’t make? What now?
• How does that time period contribute to who and what is happening to you are today?
• If you are born with Saturn or Sun in Sag explore your life's journey.

Saturn-in-Pisces from August 1994 through April 1996:

In Pisces we connect with the Spirit of our understanding, our Soul’s Dream, Spirituality. The inner Muse.

• Again ask the questions from Saturn in Sagittarius…
• How were you inspired during this time?
• What did you imagine? Pisces is the dream. Has that dream manifested…if not, why not?

Saturn-in-Gemini from September 2000 through June 2003. In Gemini you learn how to communicate the Pisces dream. 5th chakra, truth telling, facing fears of failure.

• What from your past came up for clearing?
• Collectively we met the Stock market crash, the Bush/Gore elections. 9/11, the Iraq war. A lot of grist for the mill.
• You may have established a new form a communication, felt a new truth anchor within you, met or established a new network of people, souls.

The Present:
September 2007-July 2010 Saturn-in-Virgo. As Saturn finishes the Virgo journey you are called to create the structure and support to make your dreams real.

Law of Attraction..set a strong intention: Form the question, put on a drumming or rattle cd and go on a shamanic journey to ask your Teacher what actions are necessary at this time to support your dream. Is a dismemberment in order? It might be a series of journeys. Even if you don't understand astrology, track the feeling energy of it all (you can do that)…set the intention and call on your helping allies for support and clarity. Don't be attached to the outcome. Unfold your myth…

• How do you honor your connection to spirit and nature through your day-to-day rituals and routines.
• Virgo rules ritual and routines, making the mundane sacred. How do you infuse the mundane and your life with spirit?

Read more in this pdf-Journaling prompts and SoulCollage® ideas to take the Saturn-in-Virgo teachings deeper.

Rev. Michele Lessirard, C.Ht. is an artist, inter-faith minister, shamanic practitioner, astrologer and teacher. Since 1995 she has preformed hundreds of soul retrievals, teaches through out the United States and is recognized for her ability to communicate the visible elements with the invisible- the spiritual aspects that are mirrored through one’s day-to day relationships with family, home and work. She holds degrees in transpersonal psychology and interior design; is a Florida licensed interior designer (fl id4753).

© 2009 The New Moon Journal http://www.newmoonjournal.com written by shamanic astrologer and teacher Michele Bailey-Lessirard.

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Those drama/traumas that get you when you least expect it. If reading this you hear yourself say “well the past is the past”, well then think again. The places we hurt make us more human. It’s the place of your big “WHY”.  As healers we are expected to understand, even transmute the pain; your “blessed wound” is what makes you a healer in the first place. In your birth chart Chiron’s placement and journey through the chart gives you understanding of what is out of balance and how to go about fixing it.

Chiron the Gatekeeper for Walking the Bridge

It takes 49/50 years for Chiron to travel around your birth chart-in astrology it’s called a Chiron Return. Each time Chiron enters a sign he brings the deeper message of your “blessed wound”. Chiron is a bridge builder…he builds a bridge from the personal planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn) to the trans-personal planets (Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto).

“[This story is] for the children within us who knew there were nature spirits, shining ones and more and the children whose lives we touch. May we open our hearts to the compassion and love of the Spirit world.  May the joy of knowing we are supported be with us each and every day.”– Shamanic practitioner Elaine Egidio

Pisces ruled by Neptune is the Gatekeeper of dream time and the fog of our addictions- drinking, drugging, food, shopping, spending, rescuing, hoarding, etc.

How one chooses to numb out when their pain gets too intense…wound= pain. Jupiter represents the energy of the teacher, Jupiter asks us each to expand into new territory, take a risk. Aquarius represents an original thinker, someone who thinks outside the box.

Chiron = Blessed Wound
Jupiter = Teacher
Neptune = Addiction- ways you check out.
Aquarius = Stepping outside the box, being weird because you are not the norm.

Can you see the dance here of these energies? At fifty I breathed a sigh of relief that Chiron was through with me. Whew what a ride!

Whoa Nelly….not so fast. Now at each quarter turn-solstice, equinox, solstice I am deepening my understanding of long standing issues and taking the healing to a new level of love and understanding. Has that been happening with you? Are you riding the wave once again…being rubbed raw to become real.

Chiron activates your big “Why”

Where is Chiron for you? What’s his message?

Spring of 1959-I was three years old, the time of my first official food binge. Because of the sexual abuse, there was a near death experience. So much to take in for such a little one who lived next door to a pedophile.  I ate so many carrots I turned orange (yes I have clear memory of this, I remember a lot of my childhood). It was also the time I saw my first vision (clear sight).

Nature and my dog kept me safe. I heard when to go inside, when it was safe. One day I came in from playing in the back yard and innocently told my mother I was talking to my friends- the nature spirits and shining ones. Mom’s harsh reaction and response to my declaration, “don’t be silly, there are no such things” sent me into a deep silence of shame.

She knew…
before everyone else
she knew.

As a child she heard
and felt things
In people
their homes
in places
she knew.

The Unexplainable and
just plain weird
the good and the bad
she took it on
she took it in
she looked at it
sometimes digested it
she knew.

She didn’t fit
She threw fits.
She felt weird.
Because

No one could explain
this part life to her.
How do you explain
the unexplainable?
She hid it well
kept this secret
for a very long time.

Years later, now a young woman
Dad left her house
She felt it in her bones
the pain of never seeing
her Daddy again.
She cried all day.
Weeks later
the boating accident
then the stroke.
He’s never been the same since.
She knew.

Sitting in the meeting
the urge to leave.
Her child was in trouble
could she be imagining things?
She rushed home to find
Little girl and sitter
locked out of the house
in a thunderstorm
for over an hour.
She unlocked the door
daughter scared for her life
leaped into her arms.
She knew.

Dreaming
she saw her sister
sick and ill.
she woke up crying
two months later
the truth is revealed
about the tumor.
She knew.

Finally one day
she visits The Healer
filled with spirit, laughter and joy.
Who became the mentor, teacher and friend
Re-birthed her gift of knowing
breathing in the truth “I believe in me” and
“I forgive myself for not believing-
I know what I know.”

And so began the journey
to be okay,
with the knowing.
That comes and goes
Flows like the Tides
She knows…

My poem is published in Colleen Deatsman’s book The Hollow Bone: A Field Guide to Shamanism).

It’s the nature of women to know, it’s part of our sacred feminine mystery; the betwixt and between that is not taught. Our mothers, our grandmothers are wounded, and this soul loss is passed down generation upon generation…are you the one to say “enough is enough, I want to know again?” How did your mother travel the psychic waters of Knowing? How do you discount your own knowing?

How the Oracle gets Orphaned: Like many woman I was a psychic sponge; picking up on the energies left me feeling overwhelmed and out of sync; even today my solace is being outside in Nature. The shame I felt from Mom’s reaction and response sent me into hiding.… but the knowing still happened whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not.

Not being raised with ‘good parenting’ skills to understand or manage the intuitive energy of knowing can set up a level of anxiety within that is unexplainable. You can try and root it out in therapy, but it’s spiritual in nature, shame-based and real. Through shamanic healing I came to appreciate how the residual shame of clear seeing, hearing and knowing as a child fueled the IBS. How the Oracle got orphaned became even clearer and dearer to me.

It’s also the fuel for my big “WHY” with women embracing their gifts, helping clear long standing patterns of being invisible, understand how spirit communicates with you. It’s unique to each woman, and certainly takes mentoring and community to allow the gifts to be birthed.

The mother/daughter dance that is so sacred has shifted; I appreciate how my mother just didn’t know what to do with her mystical abused child as a young mother in the ‘50’s.

Even with the shamanic trainings and the healing intensives… I noticed that when I’d arrive for a middle-world shamanic training session my IBS would flare up. After three trainings, and three flare-ups I shared what was happening; during a shamanic healing session the Helping Spirits gave me a new power animal and reconfigured me to the Oracle. I created a SoulCollage® card to honor her presence in my life.

What a difference it’s made in my ability to ground along with settling down long standing food issues… How important the middle world work is- how and why those middle-world teachings are so necessary if one is to step fully into her healership.

Many woman today know the sacred feminine journey has been lost to us as a culture- it’s time to reclaim it, see, feel, know the blessed wound…we need this deep knowing, the ability to clear-see to come up with radical solutions to the world’s problems. This is you stepping into your Aquarian nature. It is right and it is REAL. There may be anger, shame and fear.

The anxiety of knowing as a child, not being seen nor taught how to navigate the psychic waters helped create the IBS and drove me to excess, but things they are a shifting!

The Moon rules the sign Cancer –relating to feminine issues with the 3rd eye, the stomach, the intuitive, feelings and the knowing.

• Maybe it’s time for a Cancer New Moon Collage card to honor the knowing in your own life? Find your Oracle.
• Where’s the Wow in your Mom?
• Find the WOW this month, as you heal, she heals, all your ancestors heal.

Cancer rules all things related to our human mothers and the Sacred Mother. When my mother came home from the hospital her cousin called to wish her well and somewhere in the conversation my mom said “Michele is a healer”.  My “there are no such things” mother lovingly acknowledges my knowing…for me this is a BIG wow. I am humbled.

Withdraw and reside in your wisdom: Stop going to psychic after psychic, love yourself enough to find your own knowing. Be the daughter to say “enough is enough, I am embodying my knowing again with an open heart!”

Earth mamas
Love to
Root around
in the dark places
to find truth.

Believe in yourself
and the Knowing.
It’s a gift to you
from the Ancestors,
the nature spirits and
the shining ones.

To know
before everyone else
knows.

Suggested readings

Divine Guidance by Doreen Virtue, Soul Retrieval by Sandra Ingerman, Psychic Shield by Caitlin Matthews, I Thought It Was Just Me by Brene Brown and SoulCollage® by Seena Frost.

Michele Bailey-Lessirard is an artist, astrologer, shamanic practitioner and teacher. For over a decade she has written about the moon and the stars, performed hundreds of soul retrievals and taught through out the United States. She invites you to “come explore the magic of the moment and the mystery of you found in bits of paper and glue through the New Moon Collage® process online.”

The post Michele pick up the rattle first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

I fill the bird feeders in honor of Mom. A week ago I made a SoulCollage card to honor her for Mother’s Day. It’s been less than twelve hours since I watched mom stroke out in front of me, leave and then come back to life.

That Sunday morning at breakfast a text arrived from my sister “I’m taking Mom to the hospital.” Mom developed an appendicitis, and well they couldn’t put her under general anesthesia because of the COPD/emphysema. They did a spinal tap and sedation not knowing if it would work. I drove up from Florida to South Carolina to be with Mom and Kelly. Each time I get the call or make the journey I can’t help but wonder is this it?

What I heard is “stroke” from my Helping Spirits. My shaman self packed a small rattle and quartz crystal, some black clothes just in case. It was very weird. A decade ago Mom challenged my shamanic path and recovery, as time went by she shifted and in recent months when her hip was bothering her and she could not sleep, she asked for some long distance healing sessions. I was touched and honored.

From the first healing session the hip didn’t improve, but her breathing did. She was thrilled. The second session the Helping Spirits said a soul retrieval was offered, and well I wasn’t sure what happened in the healing experience for mom.

When I arrived at the hospital Mom’s sitting up in the ICU smiling. Everything was great, her color was good, she was going home the next day. I thought okay my Helping Spirits were way off on this. Kelly and I left to have dinner, then I headed back to the hospital sit vigil during the night.

In the process they moved Mom out of ICU to a regular room, and when I walked in her whole energy had shifted into panic. Mom’s color was off..her heart rate was elevated. Her first words were “Oh you’re here!! They left me here unattended for an hour, no phone, no nothing. I’ve been calling out for you [energetically].”

Her night nurse arrived and apologized [it was a shift change]; we got her settled in. Mom and I chatted…I asked “how’s the hospital bed with your sore hip?” She smiled “my hip doesn’t bother me anymore since you cured me.” Now I have tried to explain “it’s not me” so many times. I was grateful that the Helping Spirits stepped in to weave a miracle for my skeptic mom. LOL.

As the evening progressed Mom started sharing..Oh I feel dizzy, I feel hot, then cold, oh my stomach is queasy, my head hurts…from my dad’s stroke in 1985 I know the signs. At the same time I am hearing “here it comes” then in front of me I watch mom lose consciousness and leave while the stroke occurred.

I run to tell the nurse and immediately there is a code team around her bed. I stand in the hallway calmly watching and praying. It’s an allergic reaction to a drug, they gave her some Benadryl, yet it has all the hallmarks of a mini stroke. She can’t talk or focus. Mom comes out of it four hours later. She doesn’t remember a thing. It’s a TIA.

When the Med team leave the room I went to rattle…then I remembered Craig. Craig’s a shamanic practitioner and friend who shared his heart-felt journey of his mothers death from COPD. One person commented at the time, it’s okay to be the child and not the shaman.

I gave myself permission to be the daughter and not a shamanic practitioner. I surrendered. I put my rattle down, let go and accepted things the way they were…no matter the consequences. Mom recovered, and came home 48 hours later. Her body a bit more frail, her short term memory a bit more tattered, and she now uses a walker when needed…but for today she’s still with us.

We are, my sisters and I, watching my mother’s body shut down but her spirit is strong. For us COPD is long fifteen year plus journey, a slow painful death in measured ways… of stops and goes. I don’t wish this experience for anyone.

I came home to South Florida raw and full of feelings after witnessing so much, so many miracles. I listened to heart music and grieved. I painted. I created. Walked in Nature. The rains returned just in time to end our severe drought. A metaphor. More lessons about being a daughter, a human-walking the shamanic path, accepting the power of knowing, not knowing and letting it all go.

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