Coming out from under my blanket now…Saturn goes retrograde on Wednesday… Mercury goes direct on Friday and there’s a New Moon/Solar Eclipse  at 22° Capricorn on January 15 at 2:11 am. Which only serves to intensify the energies within and about. Oh yes Mars is retrograde until mid-March.

As the New Year dawned I headed back up to my sisters home to spend more time with my mother in South Carolina…

While no time seems enough time with Mom I have to step back into my life. She seems to be going and then rallies. It’s a betwixt and between place for all of us.

I am aware of so much. Of tears at unsuitable moments by things that trigger the loss. Of great inspirations and projects to create and then getting lost doing something else. I try not to beat myself up, to accept where I’m at, to just be in the space and place of it all.

As Mercury went retrograde I created this card “I am the one who trusts.” as my New Year’s SoulCollage®. Loving the ballerina girl she’s feisty and grounded carrying a sword in her belt.

My Saturn in Libra journaling in November revealed a pattern of death/rebirth in the Cardinal signs I did not expect; transformation each time Saturn moved through a Cardinal sign. Who knew… certainly not I.

When my beloved grandmother, the family’s Memory Keeper, died in 1983 my very practical business woman self forged ahead; so busy in my professional life I didn’t allow the grief to touch me. Then seven years later when I stood still the depth and breath of that unresolved grief finally found me, the energy blew the old self away. Born anew.

Shamanic clients are showing up with tales of their own lost magic…journeys of a loved one’s death, the struggle to recover and wanting to, yet lacking the energy to create. My Helping Spirits have shown how one can stay hooked-in when a loved one dies; through the void of pain and sorrow we unconsciously try to send ourselves energetically over with the deceased, yet we end up in limbo. How a death march such as this creates soul loss within the living. I am blessed and inspired by their transformations.

“Without death, there would be no rebirth. Without winter, there would be no spring; without night, no sunrise. In traditional shamanic societies the departed Ones are acknowledged as a part of the community. These are beings who have completed a transformation in status, but they are understood to be present and continue to affect our reality in many ways.” –Shamanic Guide to Death and Dying.

Mama Turtle climbs ashore…

An aha came just after Thanksgiving when big Mama Turtle climbed up out of the cold lake waters and into the clearing on our land by my goddess statue. Seeing the turtle from the porch I walked out to greet her with the intention of just watching.

In my excitement I got too close, she stopped and ran faster than I have ever seen a turtle run back into the water. Then I saw the three holes Mama Turtle made by moving the earth with her feet and tail, digging deep into the earth to lay her eggs. My actions stopped her birthing process. I felt guilty for not being mindful, for not honoring her boundaries and her needs. Mama Turtle taught me a lesson…

Our Mom wants to die…she is in pain, her breathing is labored and she is suffering. On this trip I wanted share that from a shamanic perspective death doesn’t have to be hard.

Then I realized my way is not her way, it would set up too much confusion. To just be. Knowing when to hold on and then let go is her journey- a mirror of how she’s ‘lived her life’. No one can navigate it for her, nor hasten death along. Trust the process, it’s in God’s and the Ancestors hands.

Winter is about the death and rebirth of light. Going to the dark places so the seeds can germinate and bring new memories to life in the Spring.

“Do not let your fire go out, spark-by-irreplaceable-spark, in the hopeless swamps of the appropriate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.” –Ayn Rand

How are you flowing as we enter the year 2010? Revelations during the holidays could be related to the time of the Full Moon in Capricorn last summer (July 5 through August 3)? Even as far back as 1980-1983, the last time Saturn was in Libra.

Saturn is the taskmaster. Pluto demands transformation. Capricorn is the structure. Libra is about balance in relationships. Pluto and Saturn are in a square that started last fall. When two planetary energies square off it brings up challenges saying “no you can’t move forward without stopping here first to let go of what no longer serves you.”

Saturn and Pluto reach this exact square three times. The first occurred on Nov. 16, 2009, the second will occur on Feb. 1, 2010 with Saturn retrograde, and the third on Aug. 21, 2010 with Pluto retrograde. One blogging astrologer* wrote “During these transits we’re challenged to accept and participate in major transformation of all four cornerstones, Libra-Aries and Capricorn-Cancer, but the real potency of this energy is anchored on the Libra and Capricorn angles of that cross.”

Pluto rules death and transformation. What we resist, persists…and so Pluto drags us to hell and back. Pluto’s rendering energy forces us to LET GO of  people, places and things that no longer feed our Spirit. When Pluto is on you the security blanket of the past is useless; he forces us to trust the process. Transform, transition. Saturn rules Capricorn. Saturn sits in the 1st chakra of the body, tribal conditioning related to fear. Living small in a big world.

Who said New Years and Vision Boards go together?

Mercury retrograded on December 26th at 22° Capricorn. While Mercury goes direct this week it doesn’t come out of it’s shadow until February 4th.  We started 2010 off with a do-over energy, so don’t be beating yourself up. Get the visioning done, cut and paste…move what you can and then expect it to be seeded/birthed in the spring.

Mars the planetary archetype of right action and leadership is now retrograding in the sign Leo. Plan now for action later. Pioneers may be paddling in circles for a while, but it’ll release soon. The bottom line?

Are you grounded? Do you trust the process? These are all 1st chakra/Saturn/Earth issues. Saturn in Libra is all about creating a new balance.

Head/Heart/Feet. Right thinking[head and throat] leads to right feeling [heart and soul] that leads you to take right action [feet firmly planted and grounded].

With a thinking heart and feeling mind, let me be open to the here and
the beyond, a sacred witness for Mom. Let each of her children, be the Keeper of Memories holding this space in celebration…to
feel the spaciousness of life and death; and still be grounded.

May you be at peace at this new moon.

In my own Saturn in Libra journaling process I’ve uncovered feelings, patterns and choices that impacted my life personally and professionally that I was not aware of until I started writing and collaging the energy. My clients are also experiencing alchemical breakthroughs using the Saturn in Libra journal.

I created the Saturn in Libra journal so you could navigate the waters of Pluto in Capricorn and Saturn in Libra with Authority. It’s such an important time on the planet to create and step into your True Self. What did you come to share and teach? What is in your way?

*About the quote sorry I didn’t write down the link, if you recognize your words, please let me know and I’ll update the post.