I did a thing.
and then I didn’t.
Me at the design center was not a go.
My body said nope after two days.
Proud. My nervous system didn’t take the hit.
I gave notice.
While I loved the fabrics and interior design.
This was not the place for me.
Systems. Boundaries.
It gave me clarity on what I want to create.
For that I’m grateful.
I did a thing…
Haven’t done it in 44 years.
I applied for a job in a field I love.
Emailed my resume (first I had to create it).
Less than two hours later got asked to an interview.
Met with the owner (she’s lovely), we connected, “I’m honored you applied with your caliber of experience.” It feels both divinely inspired and meant to be. Next week I start playing again in fabrics, color and wallpaper at a local interior design center a two afternoons a week. Meeting and connecting with clients and designers- people locally. Works perfectly for my schedule. I know this is right and light because my body is singing and zinging. Let’s play!
Capricorn is about structure- building new forms. What’s here that needs to be dismantled and rebuilt? One can’t look at things as normal, because normal in this decade is constantly changing.
I sense the new structure will benefit all areas of my life. I can still do my thing online here with you aka mentoring, teaching and writing. This lets me explore a new/old path of creativity. Since the move to Tallahassee, Rich’s retirement and then the pandemic I’ve longed to meet new people and explore possibilities locally. Sometimes the old is new.
Home is a reflection of self.
Last year I designed a kitchen modification for a dear friend of my daughter; she wanted to open up her kitchen by taking down the wall and building an island. From my design drawings she got the pricing along with the coordinating the trades. Her kitchen update turned out beautiful. In the fall she posted pictures of her little boy standing at the island helping mommy make cookies. That touched my heart.
I started reading Establishing Home by Jean Stoffer. Her story woke up the interior designer-contractor in me that I had walked away from for many reasons. I enrolled in an online color theory class for understanding and reading neutrals by Maria Killam. OMG I fricking love her color wheel!
Watching the renovation of Maria’s new home on an IG live session…she interviews her friend -whose managing all the tradespeople for the project (she has her contractor’s license). I start asking myself “what if” questions. “What would it take to______?”
Inspired I jumped online to check out my license status on the state’s portal; I could reactivate my residential contractor’s license. This option that WAS NOT there any other time I looked or called in the past 20 years- trust me I’ve checked. I submitted the application, got a letter from the state saying my status was changed from “null and void” aka “don’t even try” to “inactive” in less than a month. There are a couple of requirements to check off for the state. Again I’m follow the lightness. Asking “what if” and saying “yes, what will it take.”
Remember the comment: “Would you be open to working with our clients for drawings I need?” from the builder who ghosted me after reviewing my CAD drawings for our kitchen renovation (from this blog post)
In December I drew out the plans- demo, walls, electrical and lighting- to pull an owner’s permit for our kitchen reno. Talked to the building department. Hired a structural engineer to verify the wall can be demoed without a need for a support beam. The carpenter arrives early next week. Phase I is the demo, getting the electrical moved and building out a new pantry. Phase II are the cabinets ordered and installed. It’s flowing.
I lived as a child and young adult with an astonishing level of anxiety that was never named. I unconsciously took that anxiety into my business as an interior designer and business owner. While I never wavered, even in the midst of things falling down around me, I soldiered on. I can see now the fragments of this anxiety started healing big time over the last twelve years after my mother’s death in 2010. That’s why I find the 12-years Jupiter cycle (Doodle your Passion) so advantageous; the moment Jupiter lined up at the degree of my mother’s death the awareness and movement all started unfolding.
Some questions that have supported me over the last couple of months:
- Where am I living an either-or life?
- It’s either this or that?
- What if there’s room to do both- and?
- What if I trust myself and the timing?
- What is the ask of my body?
As Mars moves direct, and Mercury finishes up the retrograde my wish is you let the questions inspired you.
With joy,
*What is a Scanner?
Scanners love to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party.(You’ll notice I didn’t use the word “or,” because Scanners don’t love to do one thing or the other; they love them all.) A Scanner might be fascinated with learning how to play bridge or bocce, but once she gets good at it, she might never play it again. One Scanner I know proudly showed me a button she was wearing that said, “I Did That Already.”
To Scanners the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities, and all they want is to reach out and stuff their pockets.
It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? The problem is, Scanners are starving in the candy store. They believe they’re allowed to pursue only one path. But they want them all. If they force themselves to make a choice, they are forever discontented. But usually Scanners don’t choose anything at all. And they don’t feel good about it.” – Barbara Sher, Refuse to Choose
