and an unkindness to you.

Take that in a moment…or two.

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Years ago in a breathwork session I had a vision of sitting in church and knowing God within. Not because what the pastor told me, it came from my near-death experience as a child; my connection to nature and walking the shamanic path of direct experience. Everyone in the congregation during that vision also came from this place of god\goddess from within. It was an extraordinary heart opening experience.

This week a student I adore was judged for walking her own path of direct experience….in response this is what I shared:

In the mid-90’s essential oils were laughed at by the muggles. Today those that laughed or held disdain are pitching them all over social media. What is new will scare people and then it becomes the norm. Are you on the path of cutting edge stuff?

You’re a change agent. A way shower.

This month is an opportunity to root out the times you’ve taken the weirdness on as a wrongness of you. Journal about it. I suggest doing the dead wood ritual (click here) to let it go. To transform and transmute the energy. Take back your power.

If what you offer your clients,
if the tools you use are unconventional
and done in love.
There’s no wrongness in that.

Be you.
Go be seen, by choice.
Not by chance.

There are those waking up- aka coming of age- that need to hear this from me, from you. They may be crossing into territory deemed wrong, bad, the devil’s work.

Waking up is hard because you have to surrender the generational trauma-beliefs that are deeply ingrained… in thought, in the cells, in the breath and body of you.

AQUARIUS.

When the sun moves through this sign it highlights this weirdness among the muggles. This is the sign where you get to break out of the collective shell. Create in a new way. Innovate.

It’s also a place fraught with judgement.

“It’s the way we’ve always done it….”
“don’t go that way.”
“stay the same.”
“it’s dangerous to think that way.”

You my friend are an explorer of new frontiers.
Boldly going where your intuition asks you to.
A full body knowing…. honoring that life pulse within you.

If you are a recovering Christian, here are a few people I follow on Instagram:

The New Evangelicals: https://www.instagram.com/thenewevangelicals/

Bad.Pastor® https://www.instagram.com/p/CoYElEQO4mU/

If you need to talk…please reach out.

With love,

Rev. Michele Grace Lessirard, C.Ht.*

*I am an interfaith minister ordained in 1997 through the Universal Brotherhood Movement, Inc.

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Jupiter calls us to expand into something- a creative process- there’s the ask and the choice. Where you are born with Jupiter you are the attractor. It’s a magnifying force, your personal Midas touch. At the moment of my birth Jupiter in Leo was meeting up with Pluto in Leo (death/rebirth) in the 10th house at 27°- late degrees in a sign are considered fated.

Issues around death, dying and beyond would be a catalyst of my greater work in the world.

When I was 12 years old my grandmother was killed by a drunk driver. Her death shocked me… the first in a series of cascading events that occurred that Spring (Aries Equinox).

My beautiful grandmother was considered “only” a step grandmother by the adults around me; as she was my grandfather’s third wife. Together they built a custom home from House Beautiful floor plans, it was not only stunning but also warm and inviting. Mary Ellen’s passion was collecting antiques and restoring them in her basement. Her presence lent stability to my undiagnosed bipolar grandfather. When mom and I visited, she talked to me as a friend while serving me “big girl” coffee. Once we moved closer, I would often stop by to chat.

Decades after her death I walked into Kmart, when a stunning jet-black haired woman abruptly cut in front of me. The whole experience felt like an apparition, angelic. A tap on the shoulder “Michele it’s time to wake up to the truth of the medicine you carry.”

The woman in Kmart carried the same vibe as my grandmother; seeing her or the reflection of her brought up many buried feelings I had around her death. The sadness and grief. The joy of our connection. But more to the point the contradiction of my parents and grandfather; how they acted one way in private and another way in public. Keeping the family secrets secret.

Soul loss and how it may show up…

It is said you are as sick as the secrets you carry. As children we carry those secrets as a kindness to our parents, and an unkindness to us. This soul loss shows up in the body, mind and spirit. There are crossroads where you get to make a choice– soldier on like generations have done before you in love or with love start to release the gunk that binds us to the lies.

Jupiter is that alchemical solvent that dissolves long standing gunk between you and the ancestors. He changes signs every year, and within that year there is an ask-“Here’s what happened then, now what you are going to do with the awareness?”

For me the Jupiter cycle, the experience as a deathwalker is one experience of many that led me to the shamanic path. My near-death experience at age three gave me insights into energies I wasn’t ready for or didn’t have the words to describe. That talent, gift and capacity went into hiding. My grandmother’s death was a breadcrumb I left along the way to say, “pay attention to what was happening then, and the choices made for you.” What needs to be surrendered?

Even as an interior designer I was designing Hospice and long-term care facilities. Then as a shamanic practitioner my helping allies were very clear on what courses I needed to study-Death, dying and beyond along with training in Compassionate Heart-centered Depossession and Curse breaking.

Jupiter rules the 2nd Chakra in the body. “In alchemy Jupiter/Tin embodies qualities of wisdom, logic, education, and maturity.” The seat of procreation and creativity.

For my friends, clients and students tracking Jupiter’s movement is a gift. There is a story waiting to be revealed and healed.

Your voice, the power of your presence has the potential to change lives. What is the ask of Jupiter? Start there. May you Doodle your way into grace, ease and joy.

With love,

Click here to access my guide Doodle your Passion. How can I out create myself using the Jupiter as a guide?

I started using astrology in my life to heal and empower; the cycles helped me understand where I lost power in living life and then course correct. You don’t have to know astrology or even your chart details, allow what is shared to unfold. Listen to the audio, play with in the doodles. Asking…what is Jupiter’s message in my life and business?

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This is the time of the year where I creatively hit things out of the park. The creative timing aligns with my birth chart and things flow. Here’s a snapshot of our proposed kitchen remodel. I’m moving walls, building out a new pantry and moving the sink to the island. Everything that has to do with building is still in flux because of the pandemic.

Currently I’m working on launching VisionKeeping™ (to teach YOU how to tap into your creative timing) along with finding a contractor for our kitchen renovation. BTW I could use your energetic help… please hold the vision of a great contractor showing up to work together.
Last month two guys came to look at the kitchen job. I explained “I need this wall taken down, new electrical run and a new wall to create a pantry. It’s pretty simple.” They got their tape measure out when I handed them the architectural drawings- plan|elevations|notes|rendering.

Me: “Here you can draw on these….”
Them: “Wow, who drew these?”
Me: “I did.”

Truth is….

I love to build things! Houses. Businesses. Art.

I used to make myself wrong because I like to do a lot of different things. I’d start a project, then pivot. I’d lose interest after learning all I could about something. Sitting in the hospital after giving birth to our daughter, my husband hands me the notice that I passed my residential contractors exam. It’s a hard test, with a high fail rate. At the time I was the only woman in a sea of 600 men; so pregnant I can barely reach the table.

My plan? to flip houses (circa 1989)… then the economy crashed, babies take a lot of time to raise, and the contractor thing went on hold.

As a young interior designer I didn’t know what I was doing so I’d ask a lot of questions. Tradesmen where my best teachers. These are good men who love to teach and collaborate; then there are scammers who will lie.

For our last kitchen renovation in 2014 I pulled the permit, moved a doorway and build out the walls along with contracting the subs. We striped the kitchen back to the studs; then after the electrical and plumbing was complete- it was time to hire a drywaller. I estimated 18-20 sheets of 5/8x4x8 drywall.

An installer walked the job with me and quoted a price of $5,000. I told him “no it’s a $1,500 job.” He stormed out of the house angry, calling my husband at work “Your wife is crazy- that job can’t be done for $1,500.” My husband put the man in his place-told him my credentials along with some choice words. The next day a new drywall guy came, looked at the job and quoted $1,500. Bingo, he got the job.

In construction and business, as a builder of dreams I like to take things apart and figure out why they’re not working so we can course correct. Maybe you’re like me? Are you a renaissance woman aka scanner* who likes to do a lot of different things to keep from getting bored? I may work on my website, work on the kitchen plans, go back to working on the launch. It’s the mixing up of things and building that gives me great joy.

Have you explored the energy of a scanner? I highly recommend the book Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher and Renaissance Soul-How to make passion your life by Margaret Lobenstine. BTW I’ve completed coach training in Margaret’s process, if you’d like to talk about being a Scanner let me know.

Where are you locking yourself into just one thing when your soul longs to learn and play?
When did you stop playing? I’d love to hear your aha around the stop, just hit reply.
Are you following your joy?

Why do you love about what you’re doing? I’d love to hear your why just hit reply.

With joy,

*What is a Scanner?

Scanners love to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party. (You’ll notice I didn’t use the word “or,” because Scanners don’t love to do one thing or the other; they love them all.) A Scanner might be fascinated with learning how to play bridge or bocce, but once she gets good at it, she might never play it again. One Scanner I know proudly showed me a button she was wearing that said, “I Did That Already.”

To Scanners the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities, and all they want is to reach out and stuff their pockets.

It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? The problem is, Scanners are starving in the candy store. They believe they’re allowed to pursue only one path. But they want them all. If they force themselves to make a choice, they are forever discontented. But usually Scanners don’t choose anything at all. And they don’t feel good about it.” – Barbara Sher, Refuse to Choose

The post I love to build first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

I dart away under his arm, he just laughs it off. I walk around in a daze as my girlfriend Sharon rushes up “Michele don’t let him DO THAT to you!” Something happened. She saw it. Hot flash of shame floods me, this is wrong. I am wrong.

On the bus Sharon fills me in on “the wrongness” of it. After school I head to Paula’s house, her mom is kind and generous. Sitting at her kitchen table it’s safe. Paula and I talk, she listens. I love going over there.

Today I tell my secret. How he’s tormenting me. Waiting until the teacher’s busy writing on the black board Raymond turns around with laughing eyes and voice a whisper threatening

“You watch out girl, I’m gonna take you out in the woods and mess with you at lunch today. “ Worried, on guard I stay away from the woods and close to the wall by the steps in a group of friends.

Bullied by this man-boy, holding in way too long my story spills out as Paula’s mom listens. When I’m done it’s getting dark, I ride my bike home for dinner. Lighter.

Mom’s waiting by the basement door as the screen door slams behind me; her anger hits me before she even speaks. Voice tight

“Paula’s Mom just called. YOU never tell me anything!”

Blamed.
For not telling her.
Letting this happen.
No hugs.

Never a “you’re going to be okay.” Nothing.

In a house where abuse is denied this story has no where to go. Where “what will people think” carries more weight than feeling and telling the truth. I am violated again.

Being 12 years old sucks.

My Snow Queen Mother buried her feelings in a haze of cigarettes, scotch and ‘nerve’ pills.
I disappear into fudgesicles and cookie dough.

A good girl I followed Mom’s “don’t talk, don’t tell policy” until my own daughter is born. I had to heal. I had to tell. Love myself. Love my daughter. Growing up all my Mom wanted to do was be a good wife and mother. I was her first baby, she got better with the rest. Still even today I wonder how we got so lost to each other and…

How much of my mother’s frozen emotional DNA seeps into the relationship with my dear daughter? I trust I did better. Mother’s Day isn’t always warm, loving, fuzzy memories. Sometimes hallmark card moments are hard to find for a Snow Queen’s child.

Like a layer on a pearl, you can’t specifically identify the irritant, the moment of the irritant, but at the end of the day, you know you have a pearl.- Ken Burns

The Gift of Bullying- The rest of the story with Raymond.

Rev. Michele Grace Lessirard, an intuitive life coach, helps you break through resistance, stop spinning in doubt so you can come back into balance, make more money and have a greater impact in the community you serve.

A certified Money Breakthrough Method® coach, spiritual healer and counselor Michele Grace helps you move your dream from “woo-woo to “who’s who®” in 90 days with heart-centered business building tools.

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It’s bigger than a frog. Smaller than a rat.

Wasn’t there this morning when I let the dog out, but it’s here now. Dang. Long slender body with little pink paddle feet, swirling around in the water.

It’s a mole.

Mole has never made an appearance in the 5 years we’ve lived here on this land, yet I see their tunnels everywhere. Scooping the little one up and out of the water, careful he doesn’t fall, mole plops down onto dark moist soil and burrows away.

Mole.

Mole is one of my totems.

15 years ago I gave away Mole, a beautiful Zuni carved Cowrie shell fetish, to my mentor Ellen in support of her journey through breast cancer.

I loved holding the Mole fetish in my hand, feeling the flatness, the colors- brown flecks on one side, mother of pearl on the other… imagining the artist carving the lines on mole’s back. What was it like to carve a seashell into the shape of a mole?

Then one morning in my shamanic journey spirit said “It’s time for the Mole to move on” my Teacher shared, “Give it to Ellen. Mole will help her root out the cause of the disease and heal.”

I gave Ellen the mole. At the time my mentor didn’t want to hear what I was learning about healing, I kept silent and didn’t push. Let her just be. What did I know, I was just her student.

I didn’t trust my whispers back then…

A few years later Ellen and I are in a bead store standing shopping together when the carved bone skeleton beads called to me. “Make Ellen a chain. Make her a chain. Death is stalking her.”

Bought the beads yet said nothing again. Sounded so crazy, beads talking.

I didn’t trust my whispers back then…

A few weeks later at her 5-year checkup the docs discover a small spot missed on the original x-ray. Cancer came roaring back. Then she was gone. Poof. Wishing the mole and Ellen would come back, never again. And then…

Last March a box arrived, the Cowrie shell returned to me in the form of a beautiful rattle from my BFF Carol. Her cancer too was hidden from view, the doctors missed the signs. October 25, 2013 she passed surrounded by family in a blaze of love.

Ellen, Carol and the mole have a message for me.

Mole Medicine means burrowing down below the surface, to see what lies underneath, how to see buried treasures, the gifts, the blessings of the unseen.

Ability to feel into things.

Sensitive to touch. knowing beyond all knowing.

Carol. Ellen. Mole. Carol’s last conversation to me? “Keep moving forward with the WORK around healers and their money stories.”

See the hidden treasures. That when one is so ‘touchy” about money the invitation is missed, the alliance, the blessings.

We are in relationship with everything.

If Mole comes to you, what is it asking?

What healing story is ready to be revealed?

Click here to read more about Carol Tunney’s Story  | Click here to read more about Ellen Collier’s story

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What did I expect from a workshop on vision boards? Transformation and community as two heart-centered women came together to teach their Great Work. Sure I could stay home, carve out some time and do the board in the serenity of my studio but I wanted to be with other women doing art and visioning. Okay that sort of happened.

Lesson 1) I am the One who opens up with connection. Stand in your POWER woman. When the lead teacher takes no control of the room it’s hard to connect.

The heart connection needs intention, silence and reverence- it doesn’t happen in chaos. As a teacher the power of your presence carries the room through the rest of the day. In SoulCollage® we hold the space so people can dive deep. For me creating a vision board demands this same attention as your psyche/spiritual self is opening up to the possibilities…Future Seeing = Dreaming BIG. A teacher LEADs the experience and holds that bigger space with ease and grace.

I learned the heart connection is important and if it’s not there you’ll leave hungering and not know why.

Lesson 2) I am the One who holds Sacred Space. Mess is good. Midway through the teacher became more worried with getting the place cleaned up, putting scraps of paper away. Shouting “any scraps, any scraps here put them in this bag.”

For me this was too much. Being messy is part of the creative process, if the inner critic is going into overdrive about the room being untidy then maybe it’s time to rethink things. Collage is messy- there will be bits of paper everywhere.

I learned to be more Martha Stewart: plan ahead by putting trash bags at each table or deal with the paper scraps after the event.

Lesson 3) I am the One who is Shows Up on Time. Time is sacred; it’s a window of opportunity. Honor people who show up on time by giving them space to create. With 35 women in the room table space was already tight before we started. Then latecomers started randomly squeezing in here and there. Which meant stopping what I am doing, stopping the creative flow, move my images and vision board around to accommodate a woman who wasn’t considerate enough to arrive early to the party. Arggh!

Note to teacher: create a table for latecomers so they don’t disrupt the room. Then you can give a second round of instructions quietly rather than shouting “Make Room” and “HERE’S WHAT WE ARE DOING!” to everyone. I learned to honor people for showing up on time.

Lesson 4) I am the One who is the Teacher. Treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s my responsibility to vet the teacher before I dive in deep and open up. If you plan on teaching develop a signature speech for the training. As a teacher I still invest in speaking coaches to hone my craft. Teacher#2 hired a videographer to tape her presentation, yet the workshop felt sacrificed for her product and left me feeling a bit used. Videography needs to be invisible and seamless.

I learned the students are more important than the teacher’s agenda.

The day wasn’t a bust; I gave an intuitive reading from her vision board to a wonderful woman who is ready to create a new life. I left the session with an awesome vision board, my Big Dream in images and a few aha’s.

A good teacher is a practical mystic- creating sacred space she leads and nurturers, balances and becomes a witness for your experience to unfold in a magical way. In sync transformation happens.

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Maybe I was born an old soul. Sensitive to energy, introverted. Feeling and seeing things others can’t or won’t’.

Growing up in an alcoholic family that always seemed to be in some sort of chaos, especially around money and struggle and truth… I learned early on how to keep my wits about me to try to stay safe.

It was a big deal senior year when I tried out for the theater production “Our Town” and was cast as one of the townspeople. Moving to a Florida my sophomore year it was hard fitting in, high school was not fun.

Naples back then was a very small town and clearly divided into the “haves and have nots”.

If you lived in this subdivision you had money.

If you lived on this side of the road you didn’t have money.

After losing their money in the stock market my parents decided to start over in the land of the Sun and oranges, to seek their fortunes in Florida. That didn’t happen, they arrived broke and stayed broke; one step ahead of the bill collectors.

My younger sisters easily made the transition, no problem.  Mom didn’t understand “Why can’t you be like your sisters and make friends? You’re not trying.”  My soul loss was huge! I felt ripped from the community of friends and family I loved only to land in a sea of nobodies and somebodies; struggling to find my way.

It came with a mighty dose of feeling not good enough that showed up the first day of school. Standing at the bus stop I freaked out… the next day I couldn’t leave the house because the anxiety set in again; this went on and on until Mom gave me one of her nerve pills. Panic attacks and IBS that stayed with me until I went off to college and only returned when I went home to visit.

Girls in Naples High were lifelong friends- together since grade school, they had their cliques. So trying out for the high school theater production was a BIG move for me. My fear of being seen was side swiped by a greater urge of wanting to feel part of the community.

With excitement I went to the thrift stores searching for my costume; finally finding the perfect outfit.  A navy blue belted sheath dress along with an old fashion hat to match, one with a net that drops down over the brim…very retro. I liked the feel of the fabric, the way I looked. At home I tried it on.

Wanting Mom’s approval I walked out of my bedroom asking “what do you think?”

“It makes you look frumpy.”

Her words.

A slap.

I don’t fit.  You’ll never fit.

I don’t know how to play. No one wants to play with you.

You’re frumpy.

Old before your time.

First born girl, supposed to be her perfect child, so she could be the perfect mother. Raped at three she chose to bury our secret and then spend the rest of our lives making each other wrong. A battle of wills laid a groundwork of self-doubt so I wouldn’t tell the truth.

I cared for these secrets until my own dear daughter was born. How could I hand this critical inner mother over to her when all she gave me was pure joy,  light and innocence…I made a vow to do whatever it takes to heal.

And so I did.

This morning, sitting in the chair, waiting for my hair stylist I looked in the mirror and deep into my eyes. First I saw all the flaws, my small eyes, brown marks, the waggle in my neck… a voice bubbled up “you’re too old.” WTF!?#

Deep breath.

Then I looked again and a very loving inner voice arrived…

surprised me…tears welled up as I recognized

“I’ve finally caught up with mySelf; the wisdom, the knowing. Waiting all my life to be here NOW.”

Good. Enough.

Rev. Michele Grace Lessirard, an intuitive life coach, helps you break through resistance, stop spinning in doubt so you can come back into balance, make more money and have a greater impact in the community you serve. A certified Money Breakthrough Method® coach, spiritual healer and counselor Michele Grace helps you move your dream from “woo-woo to “who’s who®” in 90 days with heart-centered business building tools.

This month marks the 20th anniversary of her spiritual rebirth- finding truth, speaking truth. So this very Pisces woman is celebrating. Watch your email for some special celebrations.

The post Good. Enough. first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

We are healing at a deep level this week and many don’t even recognize it as such. Issues of power, safety and trust come to mind. Mercury’s retrograde in Scorpio was intense for so many clients and friends. Dredging up. Bringing it to the light. Scorpio’s task is to bring your emotional wounds up to the light of day so you can heal. Death of the old way so you can move into the new form.

The brilliant visionary psychotherapist Carl Jung wrote it takes 50 years for a concept to become integrated into the collective unconscious. In astrology it takes 49-50 years for Chiron, the wounded healer, to make a return to the day of the event. Chiron was in Pisces in 1963, that’s where Chiron sits today. Chiron shows where you are wounded and always brings with him the tools for you to heal.

What’s past is prologue. – William Shakespeare

As a healer I’ve performed hundreds of shamanic soul retrievals for clients over the last two decades. “Where have I lost power and how is that effecting me today?”  Living through devastating community effects of Hurricane Andrew I witnessed the collective soul loss (PTSD) showing up in the energetic field in our community every August, the anniversary of the event. It took a decade for this to clear.

The day of Kennedy’s assassination the global community was wounded, something died in order to be reborn. Shadow issues related to power are clearly being seen today so we can heal. Look what’s happened over the last 50 years. We are in the midst of that rebirth. If you were alive on the day, check-in to see what was seeded within you at the time of the event. Ask for it to be revealed.

What happened for you on that day?
How did you handle the experience?
How did your parents handle the experience?

Invite parents and family members into healing conversations about what was happening for them, look for the healing stories. What wants to come forward? Witness it as an Oracle for these times, and say Yes! to what wants attention. Feelings may bubble up seemingly out of nowhere, and you may not be able to explain the why. Something will be revealed that surprises you.

I’m speaking to those of us…the way showers and transformers. There is something clearing in the collective psyche, issues with power and healing the soul loss of losing a visionary. Of you being a visionary and seeing someone get killed for their beliefs (so many women carry this trauma). Send light and prayers to Dallas, to Washington, to Boston. To the Kennedy family.  The next 24 hours the Sun is passing over the mark where the event happened. If you find yourself inspired take action. If you find yourself in tears, give thanks you’re helping to clear the gunk from this planetary event. May the shadow be revealed and healed with love.

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Celebrating Dr. Carol Tunney, MD
February 1956 – October 2013

My best friend and sis*star is letting go of life. In June she was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. It’s been a summer of shock and awe riding waves of emotions. Carol’s shares “medicine can become a burden when we forget we don’t do anything alone. Spirit is always with us.”

The first couple of months Carol didn’t want me to say anything to anyone. People get weird when the healer gets sick, especially cancer. She let a few people know. As her BFF, with spirit’s help I was glad to help hold point. Hold love. Hold her. We talked a lot. Did journeys and healings.

She never gave up. She kept surrendering. Even after the surgery there was good news. Even after the mrsa virus almost killed her she never gave up. She surrendered. Even after the some damn healer friend told her she had run out of time, it was time for her to die. It was karma. Well that’s another story to share another time. She never gave up. She surrendered.

She was ready to write about her journey with medicine, about living life and healing PTSD. Her journey is a deep lesson for me. A wake up call. Death wasn’t expected. It was sent on its way many times. No one saw this coming.

Tell your story.

I’ll share a bit of hers. Along the way she healed the childhood trauma and then immersed herself in shamanic studies and wisdom.  An ob/gyn Dr. Carol Marie Tunney, MD left medicine to be a shamanic practitioner. How brave and bold is that! When the Spirits called she listened. She was a miracle worker with crystals, healing and teaching with a robust and bawdy sense of humor.  She called me on my sh#$%t and I called her on hers.

As friends we took care to keep things in balance…speak our truth, be real.

In 2011 a drunk driver ran off the road, crashing his truck into the side of her home.

Within minutes the house was engulfed in flames. Carol and her beloved animals made it out alive. She walked away. Never gave up. She started over.

Bravely and boldly she started over so many times.

Carol why did you go to medical school?

(there’s a rich deep story in the recorded interview below).

“At four I knew I was a healer. I wore a stethoscope…

being a healer meant wearing a stethoscope. Doctors wore stethoscopes. So I became a physician. I loved the art of medicine.”

At a time when things were really tough for women in medicine she got her degree, did residency, and started her own practice. Dealing with abused women, working with female issues there came a time when she couldn’t deny her own sexual trauma. Living her truth opened up her intuitive gifts…there wasn’t any room for that in the 90’s… it kicked up people’s stuff.

That scared her and the traditional medical community…she had to leave. She forgave herself and them.

This summer she proudly told me “the difference is the docs work on putting out fires. As a physician I saw the fires coming.” Medicine lost a great healer and teacher. Here’s the thing she’s planted seeds with her students and friends. To you I say “Carry on the legacy of her teaching. The power of her presence in your life. Share your stories. Inspire others.”

Dearest Carol Marie,

Wow. Wow. Wow.

You are my sis*star and best friend. I adore and love you. I know you know that. I say good bye with love. It has been a gift and blessing knowing you, especially walking with you these last four months.

I feel sad. My tears come and go like the tides.

I’m going to miss you. Just miss you. Miss our deep conversations… just hearing your voice and laughter made my day. Is it wrong of me to read your Facebook feed and pretend you just posted it? I see you swinging on our porch swing, even now. I remember sitting at dinner at Omega and knowing I wanted to be your friend. Such fun we’ve had together…

At Ghost Ranch with Caroline.

Driving around Florida with Mushroom handing out peanut M&M’s in the back seat.

Teaching Medicine for the Earth.

Shell mound. Crystal journeys.

The beach. The sharing. The caring. The love. The witnessing. The holding space. So many good memories, they will keep me.

I celebrate you…and your life. I will carry on. We’ll meet again.

Go in peace. Go in love.

Go gently as Spirit welcomes you Home.

Carol Marie Tunney, MD passed in a blaze of love Friday, October 25th,  rattling and storytelling…with a smile on her face.

For those who hunger to hear her stories, I dug this up in the archives….

Interview with Carol Marie Tunney, MD in 2011.

What happens when the doctor cuts herself off from spirit? Love hearing you laugh! Working in partnership. Working in medicine. Working with trauma. Working with crystals. Building power.

And finally I asked “Carol what do you want your legacy to be?” Grab some Kleenex.

Thanks to Sandra Ingerman for all your support. Pictures are gathered from friends. Thanks to Gail Walker, Sylvia Edwards and Fran Oppenheimer.

If you are in need of a shamanic teacher, please visit my tribe http://shamanicteachers.com

Carol Marie Tunney, MD is a contributing author to the book: Spirited Medicine: Shamanism in Contemporary Healthcare. Most of its authors are dually trained as both healthcare providers and shamanic practitioners, and collectively they offer a broad framework and powerful clinical examples of how to attend to the soul of those who fall ill.

Filled with practical strategies for healthcare and shamanic practitioners alike, this book brings shamanism forward from its historic and animistic origins into a broad range of Western medical settings: surgery, psychotherapy, rehabilitation medicine, family medicine, naturopathy, osteopathy, hospice care, private practice and a general medical clinic.

The post Tell your story first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.

Gator came to us, his forever home just 2.5 years ago. Gator was a BIG dog. One you couldn’t ignore. When he wanted attention Gator walked up sat down, then barked.* If I ignored the bark (and he wouldn’t stop) Gator climbed up in my lap. Being a work-at-home dog-Mom, we’d start the day in the office with his head resting on the cool marble window sill watching squirrels and rabbits out the window. Both dogs would sleep under my desk. Walk at 2 and then each day at 4 o’clock he let me know it was time to be fed by coming over, first with a nudge of the nose, then the bark, then the climb.

He’d run back into the house galloping with joy. At night he stood with a toy dangling in his mouth …letting us know it was time for bed.

He was a character.

I was his Human.

I don’t have Gator’s back story. Overweight at 117 pounds, gray before his time, given up twice, I sense his journey to us wasn’t so good. His first trip in the car to the groomers my husband came home visibly upset; to Gator car rides meant being sent away- AGAIN. That day when he picked him up and he got to come home, well Gator lit up! One happy dog. Those first couple weeks, afraid of being abandoned again, he stuck to me like glue. First out of need and then out of desire. We bonded. His love for me was BIG. Following me from room to room, he never let me out of his sight. A protector. I was his Human.

My heart just opened for him.

One night in those early days Rich came home from the road; there was a rustle in the dark by the closet. “What the heck?” When I turned on the light, Gator had squeezed his BIG dog body onto Rich’s flattened out suitcase. “Hey look Mom, a bed!”

Who knew!

None of our other dogs ever took to beds! When a week later the plush dog-bed arrived, we put it in the bedroom, Gator walked right into it and lay down as if saying “Finally I’m home!”

The first six months he lost 25 pounds. He played, chased squirrels, and loved riding in the Beetle with the top down. A proud BIG dog.

At the beach last week I kept taking snaps of him with my iPhone; playing in the waves, chasing crabs, lizards on the screens and watching flying pelicans. He loved the beach.

In the car ride home Gator slept on the armrest as our co-pilot for a long six hour drive. Then suddenly without warning, 3 nights later he collapsed on the floor in front of me. It was his time to go. Saying goodbye I thanked him for being with us, for being a good dog, celebrating all the joy he brought to our family. The emergency vet was no option, I didn’t want him to die with strangers.

When I picked up my drum and started the healing he raised his head; he looked up at me one last time as I sang him home. Thirty minutes later he was gone. It’s been a tough and tender week. I feel him. I see him. I want him back. Grief is a journey, and I’ve been riding it.

Having lived the first half of my life not feeling very much, I welcome the tears. Life is so much sweeter now. BIG feelings won’t take me down; riding the wave maybe they are fuel for creating a BIG life.

Thank you for being our BIG Dog Gator. We miss you.

Lessons from Gator’s BIG dog life.

You can be abandoned.

And still find love.

BARK. If you have something to share, stand up. Voice it.

Keep barking.

Be willing to climb for what you want.

Stop worrying about being rejected for those BIG ideas…

Do them anyway.

Find a tribe that isn’t afraid of your BIG-ness.

And if none can be found.

Create your own.

Allow Love in.

BIG thank you to:

Family, friends and clients on Facebook who sent healing and love the last couple of days.

The Golden Retriever Rescue South Florida for choosing us. We celebrate the good work they do in finding forever homes for abandoned goldens. http://www.goldenrescuesouthflorida.com

Dr. Basabe and his staff at Village Pet Clinic: your phone call and heartfelt conversation the morning Gator passed gave me peace of mind and heart. Rich and I are so grateful. http://www.villagepetclinic.com

Forever Family Pet Cremation Services: They came and lovingly picked up Gator within 90 minutes of my call; then returned him in a beautiful urn two days later. Please stop by and “Like” their Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/foreverfamilypc

Catherine Behan has an email program for pet loss that is no cost…Please check it out…..what would we do without our four legged family members?!? http://sdpetpark.com/bereavement_support.php

* Gator was well trained, doing all the commands asked of him. Sit, stays, heel and down. Each dog has their quirky gifts. Barking and climbing was Gator’s.

The post Lessons from a BIG Dog. first appeared on Michele Grace Design & Marketing.